back in 2012,where i went through a depressing period of my secondary school life ,i was like that emotional kid and all i did was to blame others for what happen and kick others out of my life(aka someone who was once my close friend but oh well). I regretted what i did(crying,cutting,kicking everyone out of my life) and when i look back , i felt so silly and i can blame only myself for what happen in the past because it was my life and i was the only one being able to control it but i didn't. Instead,i let my life ruin me as my emotions take over me and cause me to go through those shit and i have to say, i change so much through that period. Not saying my past was totally horrible but it was a sad part of my life. If it wasn't for my past, i won't be who i am today actually, being a stronger me(though i miss my old self so much because rn i hate myself at times too).
I am glad my past did me good and it groom me to be stronger and happier right now. My past is now just memories of my life and i am thankful for the person who made that period of my life meaningful because I've really created many fond memories and 'first times' with you. I am thankful for your unconditional love and care back then and no matter how sad i was,you'd be able to cheer me up just with your convo over the phone.I am thankful for you because you'd never fail to show me off to your family and friends and i really felt secure being with you. Right now, I am so happy for you as finally found your true love and get to be with her. I'm sorry for not being good enough back then and i hope she's more than perfect to be with you.
thinking back, though i had a bad/sad past and i went through a lot, i am still glad i survive it.
I know i was so emotional back in the past and i was always ranting and tweeting shit on my twitter,i am glad to be out of that period of my life.I feel so much more carefree now after getting out of that shit and move on (':
i am thankful for my past because i had memories from it and i learn how to handle my emotions better.Having to go through those ups and downs, i also was able to see who are my true friends as they stayed by me.They are my favs who were always there supporting me.I am so thankful for the 4 of them.
To my favs,if it wasn't for you girls, i don't think i'll be able to survive it and be who I'm today. Thankyou for guiding me out of my past,thank you all for always listening to my rants,thank you all for giving me great advices and thank you all for always showing me so much love,care and concern. You all really impacted me a lot and without you all,i don't think ill be able to walk out of my past to be a stronger me <3
it feels great to be out of my past after 2 years and feel so much better now without a burden in my heart. I am now able to just be happy with life and not have my past haunt me again.I wouldn't say i'd dare to fall in love again right away or just being able to open up to someone else because there's still part of me who is afraid of getting hurt again. But, i promise myself to step out of that fear and be able to open up to someone who can complete me (:
To those who are going through what i had gone through in the past right now, i feel you totally.Ive been through what you are going through but trust me,being so sad over it ain't worth it. Being sad over a short period because of what happen is fine, but remember to stand back up and move on with life. Harping back on the past is useless,trust me.I always wish my past would happen again and i wait and wait like a dumbass though i know it would not and that made me so depressed over it.I am sure the future will be much better because god definitely had a better plan for you..I know this period of time hurts so badly but i am sure time can heal you slowly. Taking a long time doesn't matter, what matter is that you can really move on from the unhappiness. I am not saying this for the sake of saying but time really did heal me. If you think it was easy for me to move on from loving someone for 38months,think again. That period of time i suffered so much and it really took me so long and so much effort to move on.Not that whole process of healing is easy, i swear it was so hard for me, but after stepping out of it you'd definitely feel so much happier. Like me now, i feel so carefree and much happier being who i want to be. I no longer have to care about my past as its already MY PAST. I am so looking forward to what god has already planned for me in my future and i am sure my future will be much better.
"when you let go of the past,something better comes along"
I really hope that this post could help some of those people who are currently going through what i felt before in a way or another because I'm sure you all deserve better. Im sure you all will be happier moving on and I'm sure you all can do it. Anything,feel free to leave me questions or i can be your listening ear at www.ask.fm/jingying (: I'll be very glad to help!
SIGNING OFF,
CHERYLNG
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